Took like 3+ hours to get these joy-con shells replaced and I may have also fucked up the ZR button permanently, but outside of that I’d say it was a successful project! ✨
Had no idea what to expect with this film but it being recommended by a co-worker and also hearing Nicholas Cage that it was one of his most favorite movies had me incredibly interested. Again, went in completely blind and sorta expected a John Wick style plot only for it hit me with a story about grief and loss.
Shinkai never disappoints but still I was overly cautious to expect too much especially after I was let down by his last project, Weathering With You. I’m happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised and thoroughly touched by the themes it presented, the world it created, and the characters who communicated such deep emotion.
Being gifted the AC New Horizons DLC was so sudden and out of nowhere but incredibly appreciated and I’m so thankful for it! 🫶🏼✨ Gonna be putting some real work at collecting them bugs, fish, fossils, decor, and making the best of neighbors (except the ugly ones. Fuck them 😠🤜🏼💥)
Visiting home is always a nervous affair. Coming to terms with the fact that my home is both foreign to me and yet familiar, where family bonds have gone through so much turmoil and heartache, well, it just ends up being so much more than a simple time to visit family. But with my stepdad being now in hospice care, meaning that he’s got only weeks to live, I really couldn’t pass up this chance to go. Despite the fact that on some level I just wanted to be able to fast forward time and have his passing already have happened so I could figure out the aftermath, I know that if I had done that I would’ve regretted it down the line.
In the end having those close to me around me and supporting me (both physically close and those far away), I felt like I could go through with it and not only that but also enjoy my time there too. It was one of the first times I felt like I could be myself (even if I did have to wear a couple bandaids to cover my tattoos), but by the end of the weekend I had made peace with my goodbyes to my father, knowing that he loved me and I loved him in our own unique ways. I know there’s still a bit more to this process as he hasn’t passed away yet, but on some level I feel like even him being sick never really hit me until I saw him on his deathbed.
My mom made me a bracelet on the night before we headed back home, and while she was making it I had forgotten about my sun tattoo on my wrist as she was seeing how much slack she needed. I turned it around quickly but I’m sure she had already seen it. She didn’t change in the way she treated me. She was still my mom and I was still her son. She finished the bracelet and I wore it in the morning as we headed out to the airport, saying our goodbyes before waving back to her and my brother. I felt accepted and loved, the two things I’ve always wanted more. And while saying my farewells to my dad, where it was difficult for him to even string together a sentence, I felt that he saw me – the genuine me that I’ve always been on the inside.
To know that my dad accepted me, missed me, and was happy to see me as his eyes lit up with the little life he still held within him… it meant the world to me. I stroked his hand, I lightly scratched his head. I told him to rest and that I’d see him later. I’m not so sure that I will… but I’m glad I went.
